Thursday, August 30, 2012


Save your emotions on a cloud and summon them whenever needed. Nothing good ever comes from being too emotional.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Always be prepared for the worst. Even if it works out just fine, the outcome will taste twice as sweet. Those are my words of “wisdom” for today. Now fuck off.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


I’ve notices I only feel my purpose when by the end of the day I realize that I haven’t had time to check anything virtual. That doesn’t mean that everything virtual is therefore deemed purposeless! It just means that it’s good to be super busy and tired sometimes. I would love to sit and bore you some more but I have to make my exit for now though, I have something to do.

Sunday, August 26, 2012


Life is full of variables. What’s here today might not be here tomorrow, and what never existed can easily materialize out of thin air. This inconsistency is what keeps us on our toes. It’s there for us to pay attention. Pay attention or fail the pop quiz.. Fail the pop quiz and cease to matter.

Life, you are my mentor, guide me towards the right path. Hold my hand so I wont fail.

Thursday, August 23, 2012


My muscles ache for sleep. I’m exhausted. Fast forward to the weekend please.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


I was recently introduced to the wonderful world of drag. I’ve witnessed, if only in short glimpse, what those queens go through. I’ve seen the struggle and the dedication, the elegance and the crazy, the talent and the perseverance, and the magic of it all.

I’m guilty of butching my way through life. I never was a feminine lady or a girly girl; I was, and forever will be, a bona fide tomboy.

For someone like me, the makeup the hairdos the shaving and the hassle feels like a burden placed over my shoulders. They are some of the many things I begrudgingly endure in the name of civilization. It’s safe to say that I’m the anti drag.

Watching those ladies suffer for something that I so often take for granted is inspiring. They work with what they have to create something beautiful and it all leaves me in awe. I don’t understand how anyone could hate them or what they stand for. It saddens me that we live in a world where such beautiful beings are bullied and oppressed.

I pray for you my gorgeous queens, may you one day be granted the life you deserve.

Friday, August 17, 2012


I'm absolutely beautiful. I'm fierce. I am a diva. Feast on that bitches.

Thursday, August 16, 2012


How come a “love” so ancient come to haunt you after so many years with such ferocious intensity. I’m sick of you taking shelter in my head. You are not welcomed, leave!

I’m sick of the perfect memories.. Memories I obviously created of you to drive myself crazy. What we had never worked. We hated each other yet we stayed. We brought each other pain yet we clung together. We were stupid by nature then stupefied even further by the promise of us against the world. I guess the world won for there was never us.

You are not what I want.. You were never what I wanted. I want you in my head now.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


One of my freezers is wailing today, she’s in need of professional help. I look at her and I wonder what can I possibly do to help? How can I relieve her pain? There’s nothing I can do.. So we both stay here one in pain and one in torment separated only by the  pool of mismatched emotions. I am here for you my dear, but then again, what did this ever accomplish?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012


A blank document staring at me, waiting to be filled up. I am the creator of this. I am in charge. I wonder if this document is scared of me, or if it’s just happy and thankful that I breathed life into it. I don’t want pay back. I don’t desire appreciation. I just want to be accepted and acknowledged.
Go out to the world my child. Share with whoever’s willing to read the presence of your creator. Tell them I exist. Tell them I won’t conform.. Not without a fight.

Monday, August 13, 2012


There’s so little a mind can do when sleep deprived. Everything’s so clear yet so fuzzy at the same time.  I close my eyes and mingle with the distorted faces. Sometimes the familiarity of their presence gives me comfort, and sometimes it steals it away. I’ve come to know my demons. We all talk in the absence of light. Those mirror images of me haunt me in an ever so proverbial  way. “Come with us and play” they say. “Come with us and stay.”

Sunday, August 12, 2012


Finding out that something you’ve been practicing since birth is not the exact thing for you is a weird process. We tend to hold on to whatever we’ve been taught out of convenience. We eliminate the thought process and work on pilot mode. We forget to think for ourselves when everyone is trying so hard to think for us. We stop growing, we never reach our potentials. We are too afraid. We are trapped.

I want to be free. I want out.

Thursday, August 2, 2012


I don’t have anything to say about the evasion, and I didn’t feel the earthquake or feel the urge to talk about it as if it defines my whole being; does that make me a freak of nature to you all? Please tell me if it does. I really would love it if I knew that I’m a freak to the people I consider as freaks. Most of you disgust me. I feel sorry for you. I wish you would use your brains. You’re all a lost cause. I’m mad now.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I have to start bringing another source of distraction to the lab; a novel that I hate reading is not cutting it anymore. On one hand I want to be done with it so I can start reading something I like, but on the other I don’t want to open it ever again. It is not really that bad, it’s just that I’m still convinced that it wasn’t purely my choice. Every time I look at it I remember how I caved under the pressure of the universe. The universe made me get it and now I’m resisting its force. The universe is such a bully.