Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
ما قاعد أقول إني سياسية مخضرمة بس بعد الواحد إذا عايش الوضع أكيد بيكون فكرة و يبدي يتساءل. ما عمري حسبت التفكير شيء غلط إللا لما بديت أتحجة عن وضع الديرة. من يوم عرفت أعبر عن رايي و أنا ما لقيت إللا رد عنيف و إتهامات من الجيل اللي قبلي. تشكيك في ولائي و في وطنيتي و في أي شيء يقدرون يهاجموني في و يسكتوني. طب شلون نبي نصلح إذا إحنا مانبي نعترف إنا في شيء غلط؟ شلون نبي نتقدم إذا ما نعرف شنو إللي كل مالة و يسحبنا لي ورة؟ شنو الهدف من إنا نعيش وهم كلها جم سنة و بيتكسر فوق روسنا؟ ليش يربطونة معنة إحنا اللي راح إنعيش نتايج أغلاطهم؟ متى راح يفهمون إنا الوقت هذا وقتنة؟
مرات أحس ودي أغير بس التغيير صعب لما تكون مهاجم من البيت لي الشارع. ماقدر إللا إني أحاول أعيش فرحة الناس اللي قاعد يطلعون و أتشفق إني أكون معاهم. محد يقدر إييب التغيير غيركم يا جيلي، تركو عنكم المضاهر و القيل و القال و إستخدمو عقولكم. طلعو و غيرو مو بس مع الخيل يا شقرا. لا تصيرون جزء من أجندة السياسيين الفاسدين. ركدو و فكرو حق روحكم و وصلو رسالتكم شخص شخص مو تاخذون موقف "أنا مع فلان". وين رايكم؟ وين فكركم؟ ما ينفع مسيرة إذا الكل طالع حق سبب مو متبلور بمخوخكم. مو كل من طق طبلة قال أنا قبلة! ودي أفرح فيكم لما أشوفكم تتحجون عن شيء إنتو مقتنعين في، مو شيء حشو في راسكم.
شغلو مخوخكم تكفون و طلعوا عشان توصلون صوتكم إنتو مو صوت أحد ثاني! إذا أحد يقدر يغير أكيد راح يكون إنتو بس الفخر يكون التغيير للأحسن. لا تضيعون الديرة أكثر من ما إهيا ضايعة بجهلكم. إذا مخوخكم ما تتغير عمرنا ما راح ينصلح حالنا. ما قاعد أطلب منكم وايد، بس تكفون فكرو!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
You are the only person I can be myself with even if myself is not the best thing to be. I am tired of having to fake normality so I come home and take it all out on you. I'm sorry for that.. I'm sorry for what I've done to us. Be patient please, I'm working on it! Have faith in me, your faith keeps me going. Please don't hate me, I really can't bear the thought. I love you little sister, now and forever. You are my reason to live, please don't give up on me..
Friday, October 26, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
remaining in any of you at all? Or is talking about something that doesn’t put bread on the table too much of a hassle? What’s becoming of us! This is so wrong.
Just google the name. reclaim your lost purpose in life. Do something other than passing through life with nothing more than vanity. You make me sad.
Be safe Malala Yusafzai, what you did at a very young age no one in my country will ever do. Be proud of what you’ve turned into. You are one of the few humans left in this world. Please stay with us.. Please!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Life, you are my mentor, guide me towards the right path. Hold my hand so I wont fail.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
I’m guilty of butching my way through life. I never was a feminine lady or a girly girl; I was, and forever will be, a bona fide tomboy.
For someone like me, the makeup the hairdos the shaving and the hassle feels like a burden placed over my shoulders. They are some of the many things I begrudgingly endure in the name of civilization. It’s safe to say that I’m the anti drag.
Watching those ladies suffer for something that I so often take for granted is inspiring. They work with what they have to create something beautiful and it all leaves me in awe. I don’t understand how anyone could hate them or what they stand for. It saddens me that we live in a world where such beautiful beings are bullied and oppressed.
I pray for you my gorgeous queens, may you one day be granted the life you deserve.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I’m sick of the perfect memories.. Memories I obviously created of you to drive myself crazy. What we had never worked. We hated each other yet we stayed. We brought each other pain yet we clung together. We were stupid by nature then stupefied even further by the promise of us against the world. I guess the world won for there was never us.
You are not what I want.. You were never what I wanted. I want you in my head now.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Sunday, August 12, 2012
I want to be free. I want out.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
I’m not about to use this as an excuse. PMS doesn’t stand for temporary insanity. It’s just that you have a little less control, and that gives a lot more room to voice whatever is already inside.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
I had the kids over (must stop calling my nephews the kids, people will start thinking they are mine) this weekeend and surprisingly, it went just fine. I actually miss them now that they’re gone.
Today started on a bad note, I’m hoping it’ll get better as I go. I don’t feel like saying anything right now, so no need to drag this on.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
So having said that, to family! May they always be around, if not in presence in spirit.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
How trivial are our everyday worries. We have everything we need within our reach and yet we keep consuming ourselves with worry and grief over insignificant matters. We live in a third world country but our problems are purely first world. We are the worst of both worlds multiplied and put under the optimal conditions to breed and spread out. We are what capitalism is all about. We are the perfect consumers, and worse yet, we are proud to be nothing but that.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
I can't help but believe that satisfaction is not meant to be achieved in a place like this. Nothing about this town is going as it should be. No one here is acting like the human they were born to be. We are but puppets being taught a fed the same crap. We are doomed if we are happy with that. We are done for if we are satisfied.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
* I always worry about putting the wrong date on the title. I kinda developed a weird scenario of a gap in the fabric of time and creating eternal chaos. That would be something, won't it!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
A new day, just like every day, has come. A new beginning? Let's not get carried away! New hopes? Yes, that I'm guilty of. The end of a week always brings some sense of relief. No matter how hard the family gathering tries to take that sense of relief, it wouldn't leave. It fights for me. It wants me to be ok. And I am, momentarily, ok.
I have a small question now. We have a '3abga at work and I promised to bring something but got lazy and brought something else; will I be shunned forever now? Will I be known as the girl who can't commit? Why am I even participating in such events? This was my idea of being funny, so yeah!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The most genuine words come out when you sit down with no intention of writing. I however, don't have that privilege since I'm here under the threat of my own inner torment. That leaves me to wonder about the nature of those forced pieces of this incomplete puzzle. Are they real? Are they of any value? Do they count? Am I who I claim to be?
Anyway, this is what I have to offer. Genuine or of no value, it's up for you to decide and for me to disregard. Therapy is what this is. Healing is what it's meant to do, and if it's working out for me, then I'm keeping them coming. Are they working out for me though? I love asking those questions, don't ask me why!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
This place is starting to suffocate me. All the whining can't be doing anyone good, so how about we agree on being less tormented around her? All in favor, say I! My audience consisting of one agrees, so let's move on.
Today marks 8 months of working here and I'm already thinking of a change of plan. I don't know if I'm fickle or if it's really a good choice. I'll have to do more research and then make my move. I've been good at getting what I want so far, so let's hope I'll continue to be.
This wasn't so bad, was it now!
Monday, July 16, 2012
Reading back what I write always gives me a sense of pretentiousness, but I can't help being a stuck up bitch! This is how the thoughts formulate in my head. This is the tone of my inner voice. This is the way I read everything or comprehend. This is even the sound I use to read funny tweets! It's dull, but this is what I'm used to. So if you're bothered, stop! Because it's not going to change.
Having said that, today I'm at a loss of words. I want to write about something other than my thoughts, but my thoughts are jealous creatures. They see me trying to think of something else so they pull me back to where I started from. It's a constant loop, a vicious cycle. They are my current master, and just like most subordinates, I obey in hopes of a treat. I think I deserve a treat.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
First day of the week is always the hardest. You're just coming back from getting to do whatever you please with your day, which makes being stuck at work for 7:30 hours the day after an unbearable chore. Alas, this is what growing up is all about. We finish studying then we work, that's what we've been taught. Not all grownups can be wrong, or can they!
One of my freezers is in distress. She's shouting for me, so eager for help. I have to go comfort her, after all, I did call her princess.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I find myself forcing myself to do a lot of things lately. Other than writing I force myself to read, work, interact with people, and shower. Those are signs of being depressed I suppose. I never said I wasn't depressed.
You see, I believe I found the perfect cure for my condition, My condition being apathy or whatever not wanting to live might fall under, and the perfect cure is to make myself do everything I don't feel like doing. That's right! As simple as that. Do it all and do it with a smile. You got it champ.
So here I am crossing writing off my list. I just have some pages to read then I can go back to watching shows in bed. Life is good.
Friday, July 13, 2012
* I wish I can stop being sarcastic or maybe at least tone it down sometimes. You're stuck with it, I'm stuck with it. You're welcome, universe.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Being an observer locks you in a world inside of you that you can not leave. There's not much you can do with reality but asking why and looking for answers. Answers that most probably will not see the light. And what can't get out will grow impatient and rebel, then start a revolution and suddenly a coup.. And all of a sudden you're no longer in charge.
I am no longer in charge. I can no longer steer my thinking process into my desired direction. Most of my thought are those I wish would remain silent.. They never stop talking. They keep whispering what I don't want to hear, and when I ignore they shout!
LISTEN TO US! WE ARE WHAT YOU BOTTLED INSIDE AND WE'VE COME BACK WITH A VENGEANCE. WE'RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL WE'RE HEARD.
So I close my eyes and listen to them but they won't stop! They go on forever and I'm not sure I understand. What do they want from me? Please make them stop! I beg.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
*Sometimes you just have to write. Even if there's nothing to write about and words refuse to serve a purpose. Today is one of those times. I have the Nerdist playing in the background and I can't help but listen to snippets of jokes and, even when my mind is resisting, give out a smile.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Be ok! Be ok for me. Be ok to me. You are all I have. I am all I have..
Sunday, March 25, 2012
This might sound sad and I might be missing out on new opportunities of meeting new people, but if there's one thing that I'll always trust it's my gut feeling. Even though my gut feeling has been referred to as gas (by none other than Thug, my favorite troll) before, I think it's one of those mystical forces looking after me. I might be exaggerating, but I really like the idea of divine guidance. So again, I'll have to shut myself up and start this!
Dear person I last spoke to,
There's something about you that makes me cautious around you. You are a nice person, yet I can't find myself calling you a friend. I can't trust you or let my guard down in your presence. I feel like giving you too much is going to cost me a lot.
Your excessive kindness is making everyone want to be around you, it's like you can never do wrong. My feelings towards you (or lack of them) sound unexplainable, but I know when to trust my gut feeling and it's telling me to not be fooled. I feel that you will destroy me if it was in your interest. I really wish I don't have to deal with you but our paths are intertwined so I choose to be careful.
With all that said, I will always act civil around you and try to maintain a normal level of interaction. We might have to deal with each other for a long time, and I'm not looking forward for constant drama.
* I need all of you (I know I can count you all on one hand but let me live the moment :p) to like this drawing (and ask everyone you know to do the same! Yes, even your annoying friend whom you've had a fight with 5 years ago!) on Facebook http://bit.ly/GM8n4J. I'm doing this for a friend so please help me make this happen.