Saturday, June 18, 2011

Little Soldiers

When my nephews asked about the reasons behind the child-soldiers' sadness, I found myself at a loss of words. How could I deliver such atrocities to children who believed that everything could be bought? How do you tell them that a kid who did himself and others wrong only did so because that was his only mean of survival? How do you convince kids that sometimes you're not to blame for the crimes you commit?

This book might not be the best that I've ever read, it's not even in the top 10 or even 20 to be honest, but I can't deny that it taught me something. I may have heard about it all or read it somewhere, but one chapter made me live it and it made all the difference.

I won't write a review because I don't believe that I'll do the book justice, but will I recommend it to anyone? Yes absolutely! Because this book, while it was repetitive at times, will help you understand. It'll make you feel guilty for not having to worry about having to choose between living and killing one of your family members. It'll make you understand why a child would choose this path, why they'd take the role of a cheap and sustainable weapon system. And hopefully it'll give you enough information and knowledge to debate and discuss this with other people, and thus create awareness.

Back to the conversation that started it all. I'm not sure if my nephews will ever give it a second thought, I'm not even sure if they paid enough attention! All I'm sure of is that I tried my best to plant a seed that I'll work hard to grow, hoping that one day those boys will grow up and embrace the cause.

Nephew: why is the kid so sad?
Me: because he has no one and nowhere to go to.
Nephew: why does he have nowhere to go to?
Me: because he did some really bad stuff.
Nephew: why did he do those bad stuff?
Me: because he had nowhere and no one to go to...

It's a vicious cycle, isn't it?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Currently Reading?

I've been trying to read this book for a week now but it seems that I'm incapable of doing so. I believe that the reason behind it is that this subject is one that would haunt me forever, and I'm afraid that once you read something it can't be unread.

I've read the introduction 8 days ago, and I haven't opened it ever since! I need to man up and start reading, but I'm afraid it won't live up to my expectations! Or even worse, that it would...

Monday, June 6, 2011

Bye Bye Bye

So, my parents are out of the country for 10 days!! I'm not that excited yet but I'm trying to be. I mean, you get money before they leave, freedom when they're away, and gifts when they come back, what more could you ask for! Any accidents that might occur along the way are just added bonus :p

What might happen in the next 10 days will be one of those scenarios:

Pessimistic scenario:
I'll spend my days in bed sleeping, reading, and not giving a fuck about living or pretending that I'm alive because there won't be anyone to expect me to live up to something.

Realistic scenario:
I'll live a stress free life indulging in late nights out and occasionally visiting the house.

Optimistic scenario:
I'll come back one person more and make one of you take me somewhere to take care of that :p

No really I don't care about what I'll do, it's enough that the house has a healthier atmosphere. It's as if it's ok to breath again *breaths it all in*

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I'm in!

Mesho's making me wear this today, I don't mind it :D
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Kuwait

Friday, June 3, 2011

Under My Skin

Teenagehood, as annoying a phase as it may be, is the age of experimenting and discovery. One starts questioning the reason of their existence, life, sexual orientation, sense of belonging, and all the stuff that defines us and makes us the unique individuals that we are.

While I did my share of experimenting, I don't believe that I've done any discovery. I'm still the confused girl that I used to be, but all grown up and still clueless. I feel so lost...

I wanted to grow up so bad. I wanted to stop dealing with all of those feelings that would've lead to discovery. And look at me now, reliving all my failures and mistakes over and over again!

Maybe I should wipe this silly smile off my face. Maybe I should do it right, if only this time.. If only for a short time, before pretending that I'm just fine once again.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


I just got an e-mail birthday reminder of a person that I'm no longer acquainted with, isn't it just perfect! as if having people constantly reminding me of the distance that grew between us, now the universe is conspiring against me.

It's not that I miss that person or anything. It's just that I hate being reminded of what's no longer here. I hate the heartache and reminiscing that comes with the mention of the name. I hate the fact that I could no longer wish them a happy birthday...

Technology could be such a troll sometimes!