Monday, May 30, 2011

22 is the New 12!

I've been having this endless fight with dad over unemployment aid. He's been nagging me to go apply and I'm totally opposing the fact that I'll be paid for doing nothing, so I've been coming up with excuses to delay doing that.

Dad studied low and he works at it too, so every time I argue with him he keeps telling me that it's my right and I shouldn't let it go to waste. Well, if it's my right then why am I not given the right to wave?

I was so happy when I got the second nomination, because by refusing it I won't be illegible for the aid. I'm not trying to say that those payments are a bad thing, I'm only saying that it's not for me and I won't feel comfortable accepting them. But now dad is delaying the rejection so he'll have time to apply for it!!!

WTF dad, I AM NOT A CHILD! I don't want this! Why can't you respect my choices for once?

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Generation Stupid

I've been trying to finish this novel for ages now, but I'm really hating the way it's written and I keep putting it down the moment I start reading. So as I started reading it today a stupid voice in my head told me to put it as a display picture on BBM and I wrote that I really hated it.

The moment I changed my picture a girl that I knew from college immediately started to question my choice as if it was up to her to decide what's fit for me! She started by telling me that I should read something "sexy" and that I'm a freak for reading those depressing tales!

My only mistake was trying to argue with her. Maybe I was ambitious enough to think that I could make her understand the logic behind what I'm saying, or maybe I was bored and needed a good argument (that argument failed to even be rational, it's safe to say that I'm not satisfied!), all I know is that the next thing that I felt was agitation and a great urge to physically harm someone.

I tried to tell her that reading about the miseries of the world helps me understand more, it makes me aware, it's a way for me to feel for what people other than myself go through. Her response didn't only insult my intelligence, but it made me question hers. She told me that if I wanted to feel anything then I should want to feel horny and not sorry! That I should read something that would make me feel happy, because she believes that she has never seen me really happy! Then she went on coaching me on life and how I should be dealing with it!

Ughhhh, like seriously! I mean what makes you believe that you know me? What makes you feel that you know what's the best for me? And how come you think that learning in any way is bad? Why are people only concerned with being happy? What about other people's happiness (or lack of it in this case), isn't that important as well? What's happening to the universe!!

The funniest part was that she mentioned, as a part of her argument, that I'm talking about a lala land! LOL me dreaming of a lala land, how wrong is that?

Thursday, May 19, 2011


that's mesho, thba7atny 7abetain oo 7abetain like a 3gaideya :p

It takes a certain amount of commitment to restrain yourself from caving in to cravings, I shouldn't have to tell you that I lack that amount of commitment!

Was craving cheese pastries today and it was too late to order so I raided the fridge and found egyptian feta cheese (never heard of it but it was so salty and creamy an YUM!), some tomatoes, and some ciabatta bread so I decided to make a sandwich :D

My joy didn't last because 3amoor devoured the whole thing without me even getting to appreciate it :(
I ended up eating the bread that I burnt earlier with what remained of the tomato.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the highlight of my day! FML :)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Another Shade of Pink

So I'm watching Mesho watching a drawing live stream of her favorite gay artist. Lol yeah I have nothing better to do!

Watching her so passionate about her talent makes me wish I was good at something. It really sucks having such deep appreciation for art and not an ounce of talent! Oh well, you win some and you lose some.

I'm pretty satisfied with my nail painting abilities. What? Don't dare say it's not a talent!
I'm having the weirdest PMS symptoms, thus the latest pink nail polish obsession. I really hate pink... Anything -___-

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Fuzzy Logic

Dad bought me tomatoes when I told him that I don't like the ones growing in the garden (mom gardens, I don't eat any of the crops). It might not be much but to me this symbolizes my fathers love. I shall now cut it and put it in my sandwich and eat it :p

Saturday, May 14, 2011

A Break from Sanity

It seems that blogger's done being a whore, good!

So I've been staring at the twirling lights on my roof, and it came to me! I think everyone should make important decisions this way. Detached from reality, focused on nothing but those majestic lights...

I'm not happy and I'm not sad, I might be a bit unsatisfied, but do you know what? I sure as hell will survive :D

Friday, May 13, 2011

Withholding Evidence?

I'm sitting on a piece of news that I haven't yet decided to share. Been thinking that I'd tell everyone once I made up my mind. The thing is, I think my mind is made and my decision is that of theirs, yet still I'm not welling to share!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Currently Loving

This is not what I usually go for in a novel, but sometimes change is really good.

I haven't been able to put this book down since yesterday! It's just so bewitching and beautifully made up, I can honestly say that I love it.

It might be an "adult fairy tale" as one review described, it might have people surviving being encased in ice and others vanishing out of shame, it might as well have a happy ending for I really don't care!

I have about a hundred pages to go and I'm not sure if anything could put me off this wonderful tale. It's just one of those novels that don't even have to try so hard to win you over.

I don't know if it's really that good or if it's my craving for a "happily ever after" that's making me praise it as so, but I'll keep on reading it because that's all I've recently wanted to do!

I'm glad to be reading again, it's been really helpful these past few days :D

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Fun with Mesho and 3amoor

My life isn't bad! I know that I've been a bit down lately (or m2awmat'ha 3alla golat 3amoor, it means being emo-like :p), but do you know what! I'm a really cheerful person. The thing is that I need the right people to be cheerful with, and Mesho and 3amoor are 2 of my favorite persons to be around.

Yes my little sister and brother are my life, they are my legacy. I know it's cheesy right? But what can I say! I think I've used up all my motherly hormones on them and that's why I hate kids :p

I just love laughing for hours with 3amoor while tormenting Mesho. I love sitting silently with Mesho and not having to do anything but breath. I love it when they watch me playing any RPG games, and 3amoor would be advising me on strategies, while Mesho follows the stupid storylines. I love coming up with final destination sort of deaths on the dining table and everyone would add a gruesome detail!

My life might be boring but I don't regret being bored around my babies.
I love you to pieces my little monkeys *hugs*

* I'm writing this in my room while hiding from 3amoor because I slapped him and ran away :p

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Preaching Since 19??

Preaching won't solve my crisis of faith mom, please stop doing it! This scaring tactics and guilt tripping isn't going to direct me to the "right path", I'm so over it! Just let me do this my way, let me figure this out on my own, stop fucking interfering!

I'm so sick of this! I no longer want to leave bed so I won't be scrutinized, looked at and talked to like a failure!

I will find my way, I still don't know what way that is, but it'll be the one for me. I'm not going to do something just because I'm scared or because I've been told to anymore, if I'm not sold then I will not go through.

I'll go back to playing Final Fantasy now, I just had to get it off of my chest :p