Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Looking back at it, the actual event wasn't really that bad! I had fun, saw friends, avoided family, danced, took pictures, nearly fainted, then danced some more :p
The day started slow, then suddenly it got hectic! We had to do some last minute shopping and change our initial plan at least a hundred times before we actually got to the salon. The salon was like a mini break, I caught up on some reading, did my hair and makeup then we went to the hall.
The most fun I had was in the bathroom with Noro and Mesho! Now now people, take your minds out of the gutter for a while! We were just hiding there because we couldn't get our 3abayas (long story short, the key to the room was missing for a while) when the groom got there.
Worst thing is that I missed dancing on galeb galbeb (yes I love that song, don't judge me!!) Because we were taking a picture that started with 3 people and ended up with 20 or so!!
Now I'm watching Alice with the kids and other than being a bit tired, I'm pretty fine :D
Sunday, April 24, 2011
I'm not one of those people who buy into any mumbo jumbo that comes their way, so I've had my doubts and was determined to test his "theories" out.
Once the guy stopped talking I wrote a couple lines and went to ask him what could he get from it. He was like "you're shy and polite" and that's when I realized that his practice was way off and of no real analytical value. The end :p
I don't know why I went but I enjoyed going there, I just love proving people wrong :p
Be positive you all lool!!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
I love weddings! I might hate marriage as an institution, and I might hate preparing for a wedding, but I can't help but be mad about the actual celebration.
I love weddings because for a short period of time you can dance your worries away and pretend that everything's perfect. Plus, wedding music is the best.
I've always loved dancing but that didn't necessarily make me good at it! So I've been taking those dancing classes and I'd love to say that now my walk of shame is no longer that, it's actually somewhat dance-like which is making me even more excited ^.^
The only problem is that the soles of my feet are all blistered because of friction (saying friction makes me giggle I can't help it wallah :p) and stuff, and it's making dancing a real pain. But that doesn't mean that it's gonna stop me from shaking it! I'm a strong believer of perseverance :p
I'll go shake my fever off now *targe9*
Friday, April 22, 2011
I'm not sure if I should start with the good aspect or the bad aspect of my life, but seeing that the bad one contains deeply engraved resentment that I should let out or fade out, I'm gonna start with that.
I have a really troubled relationship with my parents, it had to do with years of neglect and emotional abuse, you know the usual. Once upon a time I used to consume myself with rage, I used to challenge every boundary to get noticed. What I'm trying to say is that I was always sure that if I needed them, if I really needed them (which I hope will never happen!), I'm more than sure that they won't have my back. And what's family if you can't trust them with that?
I wasn't planning on recapturing my childhood but I guess it still bother me even when I say that it doesn't. I'm not saying that I blame my parents for anything, the blame game stopped along time ago. Now I only blame them for one thing, I blame them for the fact that I don't love and respect them.
You see, I've had plenty of reasons to think that I'm a bad person who's not worthy of love, for who would ever love a person not good enough for their parents? And for the longest time I punished myself for not being able to love them and win their love back. But time have treated me well and it taught me that some people are just not worthy of my time, and whoever didn't work for my love didn't deserve it.
This post have developed a mind of it's own...
Mom is one of those religious people that use religion as an excuse for everything that she did wrong. Staying with a mentally abusing and absent father was because god said honor your husband. Not taking us out as a family was to protect us from fetan, and if I think harder I'll come up with a hundred excuse.
Mommy dearest didn't stop at religious excuses, she went on into guilt tripping us into anything that she fell short to accomplish. Every time I gave my mom attitude for not being there she's use "heaven is underneath the mother's feet", or "kamma todeen todan", never have she once held herself accountable for the fact that we're all acting up. I mean we can't all be bad seeds! "Whatever you do to people, people will do to you", well you did us wrong mamma, so here we are repaying the favor.
And daddy. What can I say about daddy? Well he's just not around, and when he's around you wish him away. That's all I have to say about the people who brought me to life.
I guess that that last month or so have taking It's toll on me. Well there you have it, an update! I'm sick (real sickness) and tired (real physical pain due to sickness) and maybe that's why I'm letting the bitterness out.