Thursday, February 10, 2011

1 Day To Go..

This is the face of the tinny devil that I slept (he slept, I was awake because he snored and kept kicking and punching me!) with yesterday! His grandma (my sister's mother in law) passed away last night and their mom wasn't in a state to care after anyone. Everyone was crying around the kids so I volunteered to take them because I can't process death! I cry over cold bath water, I cry when I'm exhausted, I cry if someone woke me up for no reason, but I can't cry over the loss of someone. Guilt is my way of dealing with loss.

I feel guilty for being happy! I feel guilty for being put together and in control. I feel guilty for celebrating life while she passed away!

She was one of the nicest people that I've ever met. I never heard her say something bad about anybody or to anybody. She always made sure that everybody is ok at all times. She spoiled the kids rotten and could never say no.

RIP Rabe3a, you'll always live on in our hearts :*

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