Thursday, October 28, 2010

Memory lane bonfire FAIL!

First of all, only I could start with a choice of cleaning my room or baking a pie and end up with a half burnt box full of crap and a collapsed lung!! Let me retell what just happened and you all will get how disturbed yours truly is.

As I was considering my choices, I chose against baking a pie since it's better eaten worm and no one was awake but me. So off I went to clean my room armed with plastic bags and all. I was nearly done with my first bag (it would've taken at least twenty to clean that dump!). I started finding stuff that I no longer wanted around. I gathered those stuff in a box and thought "TORCH THAT MOTHER FUCKER!!!!". Yes I might be an environmentalist, but you could never take the little arsonist out of me! So on a dumb (very very very dumb) impulse I thought "it's a small box, why not do it in the bathroom?". In my defense, I just watched "Phoebe in Wonderland" and I'm not a PG movie fan, so I was extremely bored and disturbed. Plus, those Fanning girls scream child abuse and tend to creep me out and make me want to act out for some reason!

So I went to the bathroom with my two scented candles, my box, my least favorite body spray (to start the fire silly!), matches, and myself. I closed the door, sprayed the body spray, lit a match, and BOOM we have a bonfire! At first it didn't smoke that much, but I knew what was coming. Surprisingly (more like stupidly, disturbingly, or suicidally) enough I just didn't care! So the more fire, the more smoke, the harder it got to breath (DUH! naturally!!). But instead of putting the fire out, I turned on the water, faucet, shower head and all. Still I felt like I was choking and my lung were killing me (wimps!), so you'd think that I'd put the fire out, right? Wrong!! I wet the hem of my nighty and started breathing through it while watching that majestic fire. As I was staring and bravely (stupidly) suffocating, I heard a knocking sound that brought me back to sane land. I thought "OMG now I'm really dead!" So I sprayed the box with water, which normally generated more smoke, more choking effect, more thinking "SUMAIAH YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT! CLASS A MORON!!". As I was choking to death, I lit the two scented candles (as if they had a chance while that mess was around!) Lifted the box while still hot and partly burning and threw it out. Went back to my bathroom because I remembered that the spray was right next to the candles (stupid). Then went down to prepare some fa7am for bo5oor. As I was doing this I started to realize that there probably wasn't any knocking, because if there were any I wouldn't have been able to do any of this!

I know now that what I did was very stupid (knew it all along, I just like starting fires :p) but you can't say that I didn't handle it like a pro! I still smell like BBQ Thursday and I'm not sure how the house smells because I think that I burnt smelling right out of me. So people of earth if I die of complications or shame if someone confronted me with this. Know that I don't regret this the least :D
As for my room, I think it's meant to be filthy forever!
And I might bake that pie tomorrow.
But now I have to go in, and down to my room to sleep the rush away. The weather is extremely sexy and I don't want to go, bs my eyes are hurting from the smoke :(
So good night people who now know for sure that I'm unwell. May you hear of more Sumaiah styled craziness in the near future :p

9 comments:

Mesho said...

Ya're srysly fuckin' stupid, aren't ya? :@@@@@
Yal BITCH, those things ya burnt aint worth ur life
+ ya had the roof, it would've been MUCH safer and I DID smell the smoke. It woke me up bs I was too tired 2 get up and check it out
o|o 7ywana, ughhhhh, dun EVER do stupid things like this in ur freakin' bathroom >:|

Sumaiah said...

Looool don't get yourself all worked up, I'm still here aren't I! I'm missing some brain cells maybe due to momentarily suffocation, but other than that I'm good to go :p

Plus, stop insulting me you asshole! I'm the older sister so STFU!!
I'm a masochist, that's what I do! Stupid things that I know will hurt me, but I do it anyways!! Do I need therapy, yes plenty! Do I have it under control? Most of the time, yes. So I'm ok I guess :p

Vainglorious said...

Next time you decide to throw a bonfire party will you at least have the courtesy and invite us! I'll bring marshmallows!

Sumaiah said...

Sorry it was kinda unplanned and spontaneous you know! Plus, you would've ruined my fun :p

Yeah next time I have a near death experience it'll be in a topless bonfire party, and only hotties are invited! Soooo, how hot are we talking about?

Vainglorious said...

oooh I'm daarnn hot! ;p
Can I push some people in the fire? pleeeeeasseee ;p

Sumaiah said...

Loooool 7g hathy radaity bser3a :p
I find it hard to believe though! :p

I'll consider that notion! But it's my party so if anyone gets to throw anyone in a fire it'll be me :p

Ambrosial said...

LOOL! EL3AGLL YA JAMA3A! ;p This reminds of an incident when I was a kid, I lit up a tissue in my room, got scared and dropped on the carpet and I couldn't put it off, so I started to spit on it! loool ;p Some powers huh?! ;p

Gr8! So Vain is bringing marshmallows, and we'll make S'MORES! ;P

Sumaiah said...

When I was a kid I burnt my palm holding a hot ceramic candle pot just cuz I wanted to!:p
I was a weird kid!

Who said that you're invited! I certainly didn't!! Only hotties are allowed lady!:p

Miss you, when are you coming back!!

Mesho said...

Chub, when ya do stupid things like that I get 2 insult ya as much as I want (which is ela la neha2eya o ma b3dha)

Waoh, party 4 hotties !! I'm in. We'll make marshmallows..and more ;p