Sunday, August 22, 2010

I <3 Rama'6an

Ever since I was a very young girl, rama'6an have always been my favorite month of the year. Even though I mentioned more that once that I'm not that spiritually active, I've never missed fasting during rama'6an. There's something in the air that just puts everything in perspective!

This year I started my rama'6an with an over-dued apology to a person that used to be so dear to my heart but I chose to hurt. I don't know if that person will ever forgive me, but I had to give them closure for me to forgive myself.

It might sound sad, but I've always had the feeling that I'm not a good person If I'm causing that much damage. It took me a lot of convincing from my friends, and the unconditional love that my down syndrome aunt showers me with to realize that I must be doing something right. This realization also took place at the 1st of rama'6an.

I've also welcomed this month with a prayer, something that I haven't done in a long time. I haven't felt this good and content in ages, and I'm really glad that I'm getting to experience this again. Even if this feeling didn't last (yemken agabes 3alla nafsy mathalan!:p) el7emdelellah for honoring me with such immense happiness now.

I'm even starting to bond with my mom! That's something that I thought will never happen, but I guess I'm growing older and smarter :)

Now I'm trying to memorize sorat elkahf. I don't read 8or2an because I find following all of the tashkelat and modood so hard, so I thought maybe if I memorized sorat elkahf I'll start reciting it every friday. I'm going to a mo3takaf were we sit and memorize in the sora in a proper way and I'm listening to it nonstop on my mobile because I want to learn it correctly. I'm nearly half way through, so wish me luck!

Rama'6an is officially the month that keeps on giving. Mbarak 3alaikom eshahar all:*

I wanted to post this since the beginning of rama'6an bs my blog was acting up and it was sending me all types of errors. I'm now using the email 2 blog feature and wishing that it will actually work! I missed u all, but I missed blogging even more!:p

2 comments:

Ambrosial said...

YaaaaaY 4 U! I'm so proud of u wallah! 3afyaa, that's a gr8 start. Trust me on this when u first start reading Quran it's hard and frustrating trying to pronounce. I used to go to my mom and brother to help me pronounce the words ;p Then mom got me Quran, ajza2, so the words are huge! lol ;p it was much easier, and the more you read you start having a flow, u start enjoying it :) o I read souraht elkahaf every Friday for yrs now, so kinda 7afthat'ha without the intentions of doing so ;p

Bravo, and keep it up. Glad u found common grounds with your mom ;)

Sumaiah said...

I'm proud of me too, it's about time that I grow up and start enjoying the ride in a rightful manner:)

Yeah it's kind of frustrating that it takes me ages to read a wajh, but I'm sticking with it and as u said I'll get better with time:)

Ee el7emdelellah I feel much happier now. Still we have a long way to go. Some times I can't resist the urge to snort or give a one syllable monotonic answer to some of her questions, but at least I'm not always like that anymore!