Sunday, July 11, 2010


Ever since I was a young girl I had this thing where I wanted everything in my life to be something that I personally chose to do. When someone asked me anything I would do it on my time and my own accord. Everyone thought that I was an obnoxious child but I didn't mind as long as I was comfortable.

I remember how my brother used to tease me by telling me that I have to go to school, or that I have to pray, or anything that he thought that I had to do. I also remember me telling him that I don't have to do anything because I actually choose to do those stuff!

But as I grew older I realized I really don't have much choice! As much as I wanted to believe that I'm in charge, there will always be two choices. One I want but can't have, and one that's forced upon me while I don't desire going with. What's funny is when people say that the choice is yours while in reality they know that the choice was made without me even being consulted!

I also realized that the only choice that I have is whether I'm going to accept what I have to do or rebel against it! Each choice has it pros and cons, but they're choices that you actually make. When I first realized this that was enough for me because I wasn't well equipped to start demanding change, but now I'm a changed person and I have a really hard choice to make!


5/4 said...

I can totally relate to what you're saying... I'm changing too.

I wrote a post about the praying part.

Well I felt too they were forcing me and I dismissed their wishes (about praying) but when I got older and wiser, I realized it's a must.

Love u Semo :*

5/4 said...


You didn't email me I feel awful now :(

Will write you a long email coz you haven't been updating :@