Sunday, July 25, 2010

Bye Bye Birdy

A year ago I was going out with my friends and they were singing a song that I hated in their horrible voices and as hard as I tried to shut them up the higher the volume of the awful singing would get as a way of teasing me. I screamed and argued but they wouldn't shut up, so when we stopped at a red light I just opened the door and started walking! I walked and walked in scorching heat but I was smiling, even though I didn't have a mean to get back to college or a place to hide from the sun. I walked through peoples stares and didn't mind the pointing of children in other cars, I just felt free, I felt accomplished, when words didn't help I reacted. Even if it was a stupid thing to do, walking through those cars and ignoring their (my friends) calls felt spontaneous and free.

As I was walking a little bird fell from a tree above me, it scared the hell out of me but I felt like it was a sign (I'm a strong believer in signs, not the stupid superstitious ones, but signs that punch you in the face and say "hey look I'm here!"). I picked up the phone and answer there 10th call or so and told them that someone needs to get out of the car and pick the bird up because I'm too disgusted to do so! The bird was butt ugly on my defense, plus, I don't like touching animals that I'm not sure are clean! So one of them came and picked the ugly bird that I wanted so bad but didn't know what to do with anymore!

When we went back to college I was already over wanting to save that little creature and I was sure that I didn't want to take it home. We tried to find a safe place to put the bird in to keep it safe until the next day. The plan was to decide the fate of that wretched creature that choose me, some one who's incapable of showing affection or following through, to save it from whatever it is that I felt the need to save it from. When I went to look for it the next day it wasn't there! The maids could've changed it's place but I'm almost certain that it got eaten by one of the cats!

Yesterday as I laid in bed trying to go to sleep, I suddenly remembered that bird and felt sorry for it. If someone's responsible for it's death then it's me, I've wronged that bird in so many ways. I took it to satisfy a need that I had, it existence never mattered to me. I knew that I couldn't have save it, that I wouldn't have gone through, but all the same. I wanted it and I had to have it.

Moral of the story is that selfishness and impulses will be the end of me, and other creatures as well!


5/4 said...

I loved the post.

So touching and full of emotions.

But HEY!! You're not selfish!! :(
Don't say that. I know you wanted to save the bird but when it disappeared you blamed yourself. You shouldn't blame yourself because if it was somebody else he/she would've simply walked off.

Galbich 6ayeb I know that :**

Love you!!

Sumaiah said...

I'm glad u liked it:)

Love u too:*

Ambrosial said...

That's sad :( I believe in such signs! When God is trying to tell u something in his own way, that is so clear.. I believe in that :)

Don't beat yourself up over it! if ur selfish u wouldn't care to call ur friends to pick it up or that ur still thinking about it.. or the fact that u wrote a post about it! Moral of the story: That u care :)

Sumaiah said...

Yeah, god is awesome, he knows that we're not smart enough to figure stuff out so he helps us by placing bread crumbs on our ways:)

Well, I still don't know!