Wednesday, May 12, 2010

How to Deal!

I can hug, I can kiss, I can touch, caress and shush, but I cannot comfort a terminally ill person! I always feel useless because I can't take away their pain! I want to help, I want to make a difference, but what am I to do!
My friend has MS, I can't help her, and one day she'll die a slow and miserable death. What do I do to help her get through episodes? How should I act like she's going to be ok when my heart breaks over and over because I know she wouldn't? And as selfish as I am, how can I make it easier on me! I am a very bad friend, I could never cause comfort and I'm only capable of inflicting pain, so why do they keep coming back!

7 comments:

greak said...

'What do I do to help her get through' first, you stop posting about ur friend's condition on the net. 2nd leave her alone, she needs ppl who love her , ppl WHO ACTUALLY CARE , ppl who can send a lil hope, comfort, and a sense of belonging to her . you r selfish, then leave her alone.

Sumaiah said...

Says the troll living in a dungeon!
Honey If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything! Words can hurt, you should learn how to use them!
If you believe that I'm a bad person then what does that make you?
You haven't seen me around her, you don't know what type of a friend I am! You only know what I told, and I believe that you've already made up your mind about me so I wouldn't bother changing your view!
Thank you for passing by, you've been missed:)

greak said...

oohhh I missed u to

q8othug said...

you have to go through the five stages of grief.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief

this applies not for the person dying but also people related to them. worst part about it is that it never ends. sometimes you through the cycle again and again. i know because ive been there :(
hope this helps

Sumaiah said...

Thanks for ur help, and I'm so sorry for ur loss.
Does it ever feel normal again! and how do u eliminate the sense of helplessness?

q8othug said...

it doesnt go away. but you learn to live with it

like being on pain with no pain killers, the pain will always be there but your threshold of pain will increase.

my advice is find where you are in the cycle and continue til the end.
in your case try to 'accept' it

Sumaiah said...

I've always had a high pain threshold, it would've been ok if it was me hurting! It' her pain that's killing me! I can't watch my beautiful flower wilting! I just wish that I could take her pain away, I want to tell her that everything's going to be ok and mean it!
Thanks again for ur help, it's been helpful talking to someone who've been through this.