Monday, April 19, 2010

Parental Guidance

Yesterday I got very agitated as I watched a documentary about deaf parents not wanting to give their daughter a cochlear implant. At first I couldn't understand why I was so angry and resentful of the parents and neither did my sisters until one of them asked me why I was offended by their decision when it had nothing to do with me! And as I sat there watching the parents make a choice that I thought was unjust for their little daughter I realized that it had everything to do with me. My parents are very religious and growing up they pushed us to be just like them, taking us to nawady deneya and all that crap. Never have they once asked us if that was what we wanted! They automatically thought that since they chose that path we were expected to do the same. I hated having to do stuff their way, hated to have to pretend that I'm a saint around their friends when I'm not even spiritually active! It didn't take me long before I rebelled (in a bad way, but still it was my choice and it's something that I'll gladly live with) but still I suffer from the side effects of being forced into something that I didn't want to participate in, It sounds a lot like rape doesn’t it! Maybe it is like rape in a way, an intellectual type of rape, a trauma that deprives you from trusting your choices because after all how could you know that they're yours!

Do parents have children so that they have the power to have someone to control! Choices should be made and not enforced! I know that being religious is not a bad thing and that’s not what I'm trying to say, what's bad is being pressured to be so, and to have to carry that responsibility on your shoulder! I respect their choice and I wish that one day Allah will give the strength to be a good muslim only then will it be something that I will be proud of, because I chose to rather than had to. I believe that they should have raised us well then trusted us to make the right choices, and even if we chose wrong then we are only human and we are supposed to make our own mistakes to learn our lessons.

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